Word & Deed: Forgiveness, Part II

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Word & Deed: We are Witnesses: Forgivness, Part II
with Joseph Rosales

Scripture: Matthew 6:9-15, Matthew 18:21-22, Genesis 45:1-15, Ephesians 4:31-32, Psalm 38:3-4, Colossians 3:13

Intro: Joseph shares his personal journey with forgiveness, emphasizing its importance and the freedom it brings. He addresses the heaviness of unforgiveness and the need to release past hurts.

Key Points:

• Personal Testimony: Joseph shares his struggles with unforgiveness stemming from childhood abandonment and the loss of his daughter. He highlights the transformative power of forgiving his father.
• The Burden of Unforgiveness: Unforgiveness binds us to past pain, leading to bitterness, resentment, and emotional turmoil. It hinders our relationship with God and prevents personal growth.
• Decisional vs. Emotional Forgiveness:
  • Decisional forgiveness is a choice based on duty and obedience to God's command.
  • Emotional forgiveness involves a deeper release and healing, often accompanied by empathy and compassion.
• Why Forgive?
  • Spiritual separation from God.
  • Bitterness and resentment.
  • Emotional and mental unrest.
  • Inhibits personal growth.
  • Disobedience to God's command.
• How to Forgive:
  • Acknowledge the pain.
  • Reflect on the feelings.
  • Name the offense and the person.
  • Repent for unforgiveness.
  • Release the offense.

Conclusion:

• Unforgiveness imprisons us, while forgiveness sets us free.
• Forgiveness is an act of the will, a choice we make regardless of our feelings.
• God commands us to forgive, and He provides the strength to do so.
• Nelson Mandela's quote: "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

Call to Action:

• Acknowledge and address areas of unforgiveness in your life.
• Reflect on the pain and choose to release it.
• Repent for holding onto unforgiveness.
• Receive prayer and support from the ministry team.
• Participate in communion, remembering Christ's forgiveness.

Transcript

Hey this morning, I just want to introduce and pray for Joseph.

It's been a real joy having Joseph in a church planting internship as part of our staff, and it's just a real joy and encouragement to just be connected to him throughout our week and he is a real gift.

And can we just welcome him this morning?

I just want to say that what he's going to share on today is in his heart. He carries it and he lives it and he's just not coming up with a great topic to encourage us but he's going to be sharing from his life and even what God's doing in his life in real time. So let's just receive what he has to share this morning and just as a sign of blessing, would you extend a hand? We just want to pray for him this morning.

Yeah, Lord, we just thank you for Joseph and his life, his family, and Lord, even what you're doing actively in his life right now. Lord, I just pray for a deposit of faith today as he opens his mouth and proclaims your truth. Lord, just as a church community, we just receive all that you have to share with us this morning and Lord, we just say, bless him.

In Jesus' name, amen.

Thank you, Danny.

Good morning, Radiant Church.

How we doing? Everyone all right?

It's good. It's good to be here. It's good to be with you this morning.

During worship,

I was just reminded of like the goodness of God and the disciples how Jesus called them to follow him and they were, some of them were uneducated men.

They were sinners, right? And it's like, but God, in his rich love and mercy, said, "Hey, follow me."

And that just struck me this morning. And let's remember that we have a God that has chosen us and has called every one of you to follow him. And he shows no partiality.

So as Danny said, my name is Joseph Rosales and I'm currently here on staff as a church planter. With my wife, we just recently went to San Jose for a three-day intensive church planning assessment.

And pretty much you would think they would assess your preaching skills and all that good stuff, but I didn't even preach not once, right? And what they did was, you know, they checked my credit.

We had a psych eval,

colonoscopy, you know? I was like,

pretty much, not really. I'm just joking.

But kind of, it felt like it, but I mean,

but it was really good. I really enjoyed it. I really enjoyed the process.

Getting into it, it's very intimidating.

Letting somebody have full access to your life, right? Because that's very vulnerable. There's things you don't want. I mean, there's debt there. There's mistakes there. There's background checks. There's all this stuff that opens you up to this vulnerability. And even for my wife, too. It's not just me, but my wife, too. And we got to go into this thing and do it together. But I enjoyed the process. It was actually really, really fun. I dig that kind of stuff anyway. So my wife may say something different, but I thought it was very fun. And I'm excited for the future of church planting here at Radiant. I'm truly excited to see what God's going to do in a new church plant through Radiant. And I just want to say thank you to all of you for allowing me to learn and grow here at Radiant. It's truly a blessing to be a part of this community. And I love every one of you.

When Travis pulled me aside to tell me I'm preaching this Sunday, I was a little surprised considering it was only five days to prepare. It was very spontaneous.

Usually, he gives me weeks in advance. So I'm studying. I'm going through commentary. I'm doing this. I'm doing that. He's like, hey, you're preaching this Sunday. I was like, oh, really? He's like, yeah. I was like, OK. I guess I'm preaching. Right?

But honestly,

pastors usually get five hours to prepare.

Right? And so this was definitely a test for me. And Travis even told me, he's like, you're definitely going to be tested. I was like, oh, really? Thanks, bro. I appreciate it. That's all I need is to be tested.

Because I suck at tests. I fail tests. So hopefully, God shows up this morning.

But he didn't know, and I didn't know myself, how I was going to be tested. Right?

And I'll be honest, this week was crazy.

I recently lost my job, got suspended with no return date.

And that's stressful. Right? My work life turned upside down. The spiritual warfare that came with that.

And then having to prepare a sermon for Sunday, it's like, wow. God, I need you. And that could be for many of us here. Our story of trial after trial, various trials, but God still shows up. And that's what I'm trusting this morning. This is what I'm trusting through my week, is that God is going to show up.

And so God is working on my own heart and working on the things that I've been dealing with, or have been dealing with as a child. And as I prepped for this sermon, there were things like, hey, there's this there. You need to let that go. You need to release that.

And this morning, I want to talk on forgiveness. Last week, Trav did part one. This is part two. You got the sequel. So we're doing forgiveness, chapter two.

And I would just want to add, I don't stand up here as an expert in the subject, because I'm not.

But I stand up here as one that's learning and growing how to forgive others. I'm in the process of learning and growing.

But I was struck with a heaviness this week

during the prep for this sermon, because the reality is, the truth is, there are many people, even here now, that are suffering from unforgiveness.

And that is a truth that many of us walk out. And we keep that inside. We don't want to share that with people.

We're really good at masking and putting on a mask.

I've done it. I'm guilty.

But I was struck with a heaviness.

And when I say a heaviness, I don't mean like I'm suffering or in distress.

Rather, my heart was moved with empathy and compassion. It shouldn't be so that God's people

are bound to unforgiveness. We just sung a song on freedom and walking in freedom.

Are you walking in that freedom?

Because I truly, truly believe there is a better way of living.

And you're not living life free or the way God intends you to live if you're walking out this life with unforgiveness.

Living a life with unforgiveness is being a prisoner to the emotions, the feelings that flare up when you recount the pain,

when you recount the hurt,

when you recount the event over and over again.

When you ruminate on those events,

has anyone ever replayed an offense over and over again in your head? Have you ever done it? I've done it. I mean, I've replayed it over. And what tends to happen?

Bitterness or resentment begins to sink in, right?

Rumination is the practice of actively

replaying an event, an offense, a trespass over and over again.

And so I want to be sensitive this morning because, like I said, there's a lot of pain. And there's a lot of hurt that's happened to people in this very room.

And I don't want to minimize the things that have happened to you.

And if there's an agenda, if there's a mode of this morning, that would be my hope is that some of you this morning, you're going to leave this building free. That's right.

You're going to leave this building free this morning.

You didn't come expecting for freedom. You didn't come expecting, oh, I'm going to deal with my unforgiveness today. But God says it's time.

God says it's now. Enough.

It's time to release.

It's time to release them.

So I would just like to pray.

Lord,

there's been a lot of things that have happened to us in our lives, God.

A lot of sin,

offense. But you came,

and you've given us life.

And today, we want to choose you.

We want to choose life and life abundantly.

So Lord, prepare our hearts.

Holy Spirit, expose what needs to be exposed.

Holy Spirit, heal what needs to be healed.

Bring restoration this morning, God.

We bless you.

In your name we pray, amen.

Amen.

So I want to jump back into the Lord's prayer this morning. And would you stand as we read the word of God? (Audience Cheering)

Matthew 6, 9 through 15.

Our Father in heaven, hallowed be your name.

Your kingdom come, your will be given, honored as it is in heaven. Give us a state of daily bread, and forgive us our sins, as we also have forgiven our good.

And lead us not into temptation, but deliver us from the world. For if you forgive others, their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive the Indians. But if you do not forgive others, their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses. You may be seated.

Amen.

So I found myself, as you prepare a sermon like this on forgiveness and unforgiveness, you tend to do business with the Lord. You just can't preach a sermon on forgiveness or unforgiveness without addressing some things.

And losing my job, it's very easy for an individual or myself to point the finger, blame somebody, or say,

like, screw that place, right? And just have anger or hatred.

But we get to choose to walk in that or walk in forgiveness. Right? So I was definitely wrestling this week.

There have been many instances where things in my own life were done to me, sins that were done to me,

but also what I've done to others. There have been things that have come into play where things shouldn't have happened, but they did.

And my childhood wasn't the best or the healthiest. And at a young age, I was separated from my parents. And for a long time, I carried this orphan mentality,

a sense of abandonment,

rested on my heart. And as a child, right, you don't fully understand what's going on. You don't understand the big picture.

But all I knew was I was hurt,

I was left,

and I was in pain, right?

And there was plenty of wrong I could hold on to and point the finger.

And I did.

Oh, I did.

And for many years, I blamed my parents for the wrongdoing.

I held it against them.

I held on to the hurt and the pain.

But about three years ago, we had a men's meeting here at the church in the office.

And I had the opportunity to invite my father to it. He came.

And in that moment, there was a place for us to be vulnerable with each other. And we were talking about my childhood and my upbringing in a group of men.

And in that moment, I got to tell my father I forgave him

into his face.

And for a long time, I couldn't do that.

I couldn't do that.

Because I was hurt, I was bitter, I held on to a resentment.

But with God, all things are possible.

One of the many conversations I had with my father about my upbringing was my childhood.

And I remember we were talking, and he made a statement that really changed my perspective

from being a victim and one track-minded to empathy and compassion.

And he said,

have you ever considered

what I went through as a child? And he wasn't saying it in a justification for what he was doing, so that I could have understanding of the bigger picture and sin and generational curses.

Because I never did. I never thought about the things that he went through. I only thought about the things that I went through.

But there are things that he went through.

And it rocked me. Or maybe some of you, a child died.

And the pain and the hurt was so intense,

someone had to take the blame.

Someone had to take the blame.

And I've been there, too.

My firstborn Desiree passed away when she was four months old.

And the hurt and the pain, I turned towards God.

Someone had to take the blame.

And I blamed God.

I blamed God for taking my daughter.

And I carried the unforgiveness from my childhood into young adulthood. I reached out to many other things, many outlets, drugs, alcohol,

to fill the void.

Why?

Because I longed connection.

I was hurt. I longed for love.

I carried the blame against God.

And all that did was imprison me.

Because God,

he is without sin.

But someone-- we like to point the finger. Don't we like to point the finger at people?

But sometimes we hold God accountable.

For the things that have done to us.

And I would just like to say, dads, if you're a dad,

your boys need you.

Your little girls, they need you.

Moms,

your baby boys, they need you.

Your baby girls, they need you. Be present.

There's many distractions that we face

that I'm guilty of-- phones,

TV, you name it, work.

Those little ones need you guys.

Unforgiveness unchecked has separated families, marriages.

And so I want to ask you, how are you doing in this area?

How are you doing?

Has there been any unforgiveness God has brought up and exposed?

Is there any names that come to mind right now?

This quote by Corey Ten Boom says, "Forgiveness is an act of the will.

And the will can function regardless of the temperature of the hearts.

We choose to forgive whether we feel it

or if we feel like it or not.

You go to work even when you don't feel like it, right? You get up and you go.

You go to the gym even when you don't feel like it, right?

But you know the outcome.

You wake up and brush your teeth, right?

At least I hope so.

There's a decisional and emotional forgiveness that takes place.

Decisional forgiveness.

Decisional forgiveness is governed by duty, accountability, and responsibility. We have a duty. We have a responsibility to forgive others.

They're trespasses whether there's a deep connection or not, like God has commanded us. God has commanded you to forgive.

That is the truth.

And so we decide to forgive.

Secondly, emotional forgiveness.

Emotional forgiveness is governed by love.

And we also forgive from a deep sense of love for people.

We see in Matthew 18 and 21 through 22, Peter asked Jesus how many times he should forgive someone, right, who sinned against him.

And Jesus replies, I tell you not seven times, but 70 times seven.

Jesus's response highlights the concept of decisional forgiveness, where forgiveness is a choice made regardless of how many offenses happen to you.

And then we see in Genesis 45, 1 through 15,

Joseph forgives his brothers after they sold him into slavery.

Joseph reveals himself to his brothers. He's deeply moved.

He's weeping. And despite the pain, despite the betrayal,

Joseph's emotional forgiveness is evident in his words and his actions.

There's a deep sense of authentic love towards his family,

towards his brothers.

Joseph acknowledges the deep emotional pain of betrayal, but chooses to let go of the resentment

and reassures his brothers that he holds no anger toward them,

releasing the emotional burden of hurt and anger,

but offering peace instead.

Last week we learned what forgiveness is and isn't, but why do we forgive, right?

What are some of those dangers?

Number one,

spiritual separation from God.

In Matthew 6, 14, and 15,

unforgiveness can hinder our relationship with God and block his forgiveness toward us.

When my daughter passed away, I held onto anger and unforgiveness towards God.

And that caused a separation between us.

That blocked my relationship with him.

And maybe some.

Our relationship is blocked this morning because of unforgiveness.

I carried the bitterness towards my dad. I carried the resentment.

And it affected me. It affected me in childhood and young adulthood.

Number two, bitterness and resentment.

Ephesians 4, 31, and 32 states,

or describes holding onto unforgiveness leads to bitterness, anger,

malice, which poisons relationships. When you harbor bitterness or resentment,

anger tends to follow.

Malice tends to follow.

They need to be paid back for what they've done to me.

Number three, emotional and mental unrest.

Psalm 38, 3, and 4 describes the weight and guilt of unaddressed sin in David's life.

And it affected him emotionally and physically.

Have you ever just been emotionally all over the place?

Anxiety, depression,

loss of appetite.

When you're consumed with this unforgiveness,

it deeply affects your well-being.

Number four, inhibits personal growth.

Colossians 3, 13 describes unforgiveness, stunts,

spiritual and physical maturity,

preventing us from growing in the grace of God and Christ-likeness.

Number five, disobedience to God's command.

Jesus commands us to forgive.

He commands us to forgive others. And if we don't, how will He forgive us?

We are commanded to forgive others.

There's this clip from the movie "The Shack" I want to play.

He killed my daughter.

I want to hurt him.

I want him to hurt.

Like he hurt me. I want you to hurt him.

I know you do.

But he too is my son. And I want to redeem him. Redeem him.

He should burn in hell.

So we're back to you as the judge.

So you just let him get away with it? Nobody gets away with anything.

Everything bears consequences.

What he did... Was horrible.

I'm not asking you to excuse what he did.

I'm asking you to trust me to do what's right, and to know what's best. And then what?

Forgiveness doesn't establish your relationship.

It's just about letting go of his throat.

Mack, the pain inside is devouring you, robbing you of joy,

and crippling your capacity to love.

I can't.

You're not stuck because you can't. You're stuck because you won't.

You don't have to do this alone.

I'm here with you.

I am for you.

I'm for you.

Mackenzie, you're such a joy.

I love that scene. It's a beautiful illustration of one.

Like, it's hard.

It's hard to forgive.

And some of us this morning need to release some things.

There's things that happened to you. You need to let go.

You need to release. I love this quote by Nelson Mandela. And he says, "Unforgiveness is like drinking poison and waiting for the other person to die."

It hurts yourself. It don't hurt the other person.

So at this point, you may be feeling like, OK, Joseph, I get it. I get it. I need to forgive.

But how? How do I do that? How do I forgive?

And so I want to leave you with five steps I believe is part of the process of truly releasing.

Number one, acknowledge.

We must acknowledge the pain caused by the wrongdoing.

The sin, the offense, it gives us an opportunity to confront the emotions that come with it.

Just like that clip, he acknowledged the pain.

With my father and my parents, I acknowledged the pain. With my daughter, I acknowledged the pain

and stuck a pole in the ground and faced it.

Today, declare you're going to stick a pole in the ground and you're going to face it.

No more hiding.

No more mask.

Number two, reflect.

Reflect on the feelings and allow yourself to feel the pain, the anger, the sadness that may come with the offense,

which I believe is the hardest. Because here in America, we love to self-medicate.

We love to go to other things and suppress those feelings,

suppress those emotions.

But allow yourself to feel it.

Number three,

name it.

Put a name to the person in the offense

and see them as flawed people,

broken and hurt,

as if they acted out of their pain,

not until I humanize my father did I begin to receive healing

and see that he was broken and flawed.

Number four, repent.

Repentance involves recognizing that unforgiveness is a sin and a barrier between you and God.

Number five, release. Releasing means letting go of the offense. Once and for all and not holding the offense over the head of the person anymore.

Some of us are here are really good at pulling out the offense card.

When we get in an argument with our spouse, do you remember this?

We've got the red card lined up. We've got the green card. We've got the yellow card.

Some of us are really good.

I'm guilty.

Worship team, would you guys come up, please?

I love this quote by Lewis B. Smeeds.

He says, "To forgive is to set a prisoner free

and to discover that the prisoner was you."

Some of us here this morning may be prisoners of unforgiveness.

You've tried to mask the offense and forget it. You've tried to deny it. But I implore you this morning to do business with the Lord.

Do business with God this morning.

Truly step into the grace of God and the freedom He offers and graciously gives to you. Walk in the freedom Christ paid on the cross.

We will have people ready to pray with you and walk out those emotions, walk out the process of releasing these people today.

And come to the table and remember what Christ has done. His body broken, His blood shed. With a heart of thankfulness that we could be called children of God.

And so we are. Amen.